1. Only the coolest people hold their nose when they jump in(or fall in) the river.
2. The literary choices of rafting(aka farting) guides would be considered offensive to church groups.
3. Tree branches are not good means of holding a smore over a fire. It is too hard to get them through the graham cracker without breaking it. Some people actually like to heat the marshmallow and then put it on the cracker. Wierdos.
4. Speck's....laugh....is....the....best....laugh....I....have....ever....heard....wait-for-it...
5. When jumping into a river from an elevation over fifteen feet the two best means of entry are either a seated or face first position. Smack.
6. The actual lyrics to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker" are:
Youre a heartbreaker
Dream maker, love taker
Dont you mess around with me!
Youre a heartbreaker
Dream maker, love taker
Dont you mess around - no no no!
There is no "Salt Shaker" in it.
7. "Farners" can't work car alarms.
8. When a sign says "Rafting Adventures Ahead" and has an arrow pointing to the left it doesn't mean go straight...it means go left.
9. In Fayetteville, WV everything is going on at The Foodland. Everything.
10. If you lose a tooth while in West Virginia you get automatic residency status.
11. You can skip a rock on water. It is harder to skip a rock off a raft guide.
12. Never, under any circumstances, put Luhkneeuhh in charge of the keys.
13. Sadly, the driver is just "the help."
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16 comments:
Don't throw rocks at our guide!!!!! He was cool, up until then!!!!
FYI - Nate DID NOT scream like a little girl ... but some other guy on the trip did.
Did he have a moustache?
Great list my friend. Don't forget our friends that live on Stud Hill Road.....they are the ones that have THREE teeth.
Oh, and thanks for the lyrics of Heartbreaker. I was sure that "speed skater" was in there somewhere, but I stand corrected! ;-)
you are the coolest!
Hey, watch yourself chicken strap, the key got back into the hand it came from. No harm, no foul!
p.s. In our defense I kept trying to deal the driver into ratslap, but he didn't contribute much action. Sorry, but we tried!
It sounds like you all had a very good and interesting time to say the least. I wish I could have went, but I had to be in a wedding in MO or I probably would have made the trip back to Lex to go. I had a good time at the wedding but it was very different than what I am used to. That was the first time I had been to a Lutheran wedding and it lasted right at an hour so needless to say all of us in the wedding were about to die by the time it was over. It's not fun standing still in a black tux for that long especially when the air conditioning could not be adjusted properly.
could "wish I could have went" please identify yourself?
The Speck snort is like icing on a cake of laughter. It was fun listening to the "farners" talk it up while we were waiting to watch the video. Maybe they were discussing why they wore business casual attire on a farting trip?
I felt sorry for the river after hearing Foster's backside plant one on the river.
I think Potts should take up a career in football. Too bad Big Daddy T couldn't get the job done. What's that? Yes I have life insurance.
It takes skills and stupidity to reverse skip a rock off a raft guide. If he used to work for The Evil Empire then he deserved it!
The back sides of air conditioners are pretty sharp so watch your hands.
Are we all going base jumping in October?
Ever think you're hearing something in a song, but they're really singing something else? The word for mis-heard lyrics is 'mondegreen,' and it comes from a folk song in the '50's. The singer was actually singing "They slew the Earl of Morray and laid him on the green," but this came off sounding like 'They slew the Earl of Morray and Lady Mondegreen.'"
Was that last one a crossblog attempt? Not sure.
BTW Joel, it was Fanta...not Sunkist. Get it right (get it right, get it tight)!
Curious,
"Wish I could have went" represents of the 270.
oops. i had a sunkist after a recent softball game in Ffort. my mind fails me many a time. and i didn't have a Fanta, it was a Lipton Iced Tea. perhaps there was something from Long Island in there instead? don't you wanna, Fanta Fanta...
mmmm... i like it like that!
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