My Observations as a Waterman

1. Only the coolest people hold their nose when they jump in(or fall in) the river.

2. The literary choices of rafting(aka farting) guides would be considered offensive to church groups.

3. Tree branches are not good means of holding a smore over a fire. It is too hard to get them through the graham cracker without breaking it. Some people actually like to heat the marshmallow and then put it on the cracker. Wierdos.

4. Speck's....laugh....is....the....best....laugh....I....have....ever....heard....wait-for-it...

5. When jumping into a river from an elevation over fifteen feet the two best means of entry are either a seated or face first position. Smack.

6. The actual lyrics to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker" are:
Youre a heartbreaker
Dream maker, love taker
Dont you mess around with me!
Youre a heartbreaker
Dream maker, love taker
Dont you mess around - no no no!

There is no "Salt Shaker" in it.

7. "Farners" can't work car alarms.

8. When a sign says "Rafting Adventures Ahead" and has an arrow pointing to the left it doesn't mean go straight...it means go left.

9. In Fayetteville, WV everything is going on at The Foodland. Everything.

10. If you lose a tooth while in West Virginia you get automatic residency status.

11. You can skip a rock on water. It is harder to skip a rock off a raft guide.

12. Never, under any circumstances, put Luhkneeuhh in charge of the keys.

13. Sadly, the driver is just "the help."

Gauley, That's a Big Rapid!

I've gone white water rafting.
I hope I live to post again.

Nate "Class V" Cornett.
Nate "Won't Scream Like a Girl" Cornett.
Nate "Doesn't need the first aid kit or inhaler his wife packed" Cornett.

Nathonics (or Nath')

It seems to me that our world is 'bout to clear all use of words with two or more sylls' from our speech. It seems most use words like "what 'ev" and "'sich" to keep just with one syll'. This scares me 'cause I think words with two or more sylls' are ness' to our speech. Have we come to the point in our world where we are too bus' to use more than one syll'? Slow down my peeps, have joy in your sylls'. Life is too hard to spend it with just one syll' words. This mode of talk can lead to probs like not get point of talk. One word's first syll' might sound like that of diff' word's first syll' and change the point you want to make. When you see a friend on the street do you smile and say "hell'"? That might hurt your friend's heart and make them not glad. To close I would just like to say that I hope you will keep the use of two or more syll' words in our speech 'cause it is too hard to just speak or blog with just one syll' words.

Sin_ _ _ _ _ _,(See?)
Nate

A Little More of What I Have Learned

1. When you blog about Golden Corral it seems to spark passion in people. In fact that is the only reason I included it here.

2. That either my daughter is especially mature or I am especially immature. It seems we are starting to share the same peer group. I met some of my friends at my daughter's softball game Monday. After the game she went out to eat with some of her friends. They were all the same people. Maybe it's not about me or her, maybe our friends are schizo(no offense, and no offense).

3. Wes C. cracks me up. He could blog professionally(I, however, intend to maintain my amateur status so I can blog in the Olympics).

4. From 1977 to present day there have been not less than eight people killed in rafting/kayaking accidents on the Gauley River in West Virginia. Many of whom were listed as "Experienced."

5. Losing your gut at age 32 is much more difficult than not having one at age 26. Warning to all: Food tastes much better after age 26.

6. The oatmeal at Frisch's it not nearly as good as Bob Evans.

7. There is something about riding a bicycle that make people think you are a wimp. On separate occasions I have had a tennis ball and a football thrown at me. Of course it didn't enter my mind to retaliate(WWJD?); and perhaps I am a wimp.

8. The lexicon is expanding faster than my mind. What does "'sich" mean?

9. Many of the blogs I encounter contain deep theological statements and observations. Now mine does too.

10. The new voting machines look like Paul Bunyon's Palm Pilot.

Person For The Responsible Use of Blogs.

I have been noticing a trend in the blogoshpere. It seems many bloggers are signing off for the summer. This brings me to the question, "What are they doing?" What is causing them to leave their blogs behind?

Many people rely on these blogs to make it through their work and/or school day. It could be deemed irresponsible, dangerous even, to just jump ship on these people. Seriously, what effect will it have on the economy of Lexington if all of a sudden people started having to work while at work instead of reading blogs? Can our city stand such a shake up for the next three months?

I say we start a grass roots movement. If they want to stop blogging fine. But I am summoning the troops. I want everyone to cross-blog anyone whose blog they find to be "on hiatus." I don't care what you talk about, just talk long and often.

As for me, I refuse to go on summer hiatus. I will be here slinging the same slop I always do.

In fact I want to issue a challenge. I want you to find the "on hiatus" blogs and cross-blog on the following topics:
Electric Cars
Converse Tennishoes
Spandex Pants
Power Lines
Spaldings Donuts
Cornhole
So just choose one of the above mentioned topics, find an blog-en-hiatia, and cross-blog away. Then comment back here where you have cross-blogged so we can all read. Together we will keep the blogosphere moving.

Musings From the Heart of Stanley Burrell

My my my music hits me...so hard
Makes me say, "Oh, my Lord,
Thank You, for blessing me
with a mind to rhyme and a too hype beat."
It feels good, when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Oak-town;
and I'm known as such...
And this is a beat, uh, ya can't touch
You can't touch this

Fresh new kicks, advance
You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance
So move, outta your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it's rolling, hold on
Pump a little bit and let'em know it's going on
Like that, like that
Cold on a mission so call them back
Let 'em know, that you're too much
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch
You can't touch this

Give me a song, or rhythm
Making 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em
Now, they know
You talking about the Hammer you talking about a show
That's hype, and tight
Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe
Or a tape, to learn
What's it gonna take in the '90s to burn
The charts? Legit
Either work hard or you might as well quit

That's word because you know...

You can't touch this

Go with the funk, it is said
That if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead
So wave your finger in the air
Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair
This is it, for a winner
Dance to this and your gonna get thinner
Move, slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump
You can't touch this
You can't touch this

Every time you see me
The Hammer's just so hype
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doing this?
With others making records that just don't hit
I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"
And the rest can go and play

You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this


(Next time Patrick Swayze's She's Like the Wind)

The More You Know...The More You Grow

Okay, I like to read. I like to read what my wife considers to be geek books. She doesn't understand how I can actually stay awake to read them while reading them. Anyway, this year I set a goal to read 12 nonfiction and 6 fiction books. The financial guru Dave Ramsey says that when polled most people that feel their lives are a success read on average 12 books a year. So, I figured why not, let's see how this works(okay, he actually says that when polled millionaires on average read 12 books a year. But that just sounds so materialistic--and yes I realize money does not equal success).

Now, I try to read books on a variety of topics. I try to read some classics...but I gotta be honest...who decided these were classics?

Right now I am reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau. It is a pretty good book but I don't understand all the acclaim given to it by folks like Don Henley et al. It's basically about Thoreau's time living in the wilderness of Massachusetts in the 1840s. It does make me want to lead a simpler life...but I do love me some indoor plumbing. Thoreau laments about the speed of life in the cities around him...how people just have to speed through life on trains that go 30 mph.

The other books I have read this year are:
Grant and Sherman: The Friendship that Won the Civil War-- Great book if you like history.
Getting entrepreneurial! Creating and Growing Your Own Business in the 21st Century--Not bad.
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson--I gotta learn how to deal with Ude and Qusay somehow!

Add these to countless childrens books and cereal boxes and that pretty much rounds out my literary intake for '06. I gotta get to reading to reach my goal but generally I read more in the summer.

Up next is a John Avant book about having passion for Christ...I am not sure of its title. After that Kentucky Story, an anthology of Kentucky Short Stories...after that...who knows?

On a more serious note. I took my daughter for her driver permit test on Monday and the dude behind the counter had to be an Elvis impersonator...he looked just like "Jumpsuit Elvis."

An Interactive Blogging Experience

We here at Elementary Intersocial Volition strive to make your blogging experience a fulfilling and intellectually stimulating event. Our aim is to stay on the forefront of weblog activity. To be proactive in doing what it takes to keep you, the co-blogger, locked in on our weblog goals.

For it is our mission to...
...
...
... okay, we don't have a mission. I just sit here and type and hopefully it forms words that make some kind of sense(at least to me).

But now it is your turn. We need your input on the future of Elementary Intersocial Volition. What exactly do you want to get from the time you spend on this site?

Is it more Bob Ross? Golden Girls? Do you wish me to wax poetic about how Hank Hill is the only true standard of actual masculinity in the media today? Do you want local buffet ratings? Time and Temperature? Since many of our readers are either from or reside in western Kentucky (Princeton area or the Masterson Station suburb of Owensboro) do you want me to report on the Who's Who of the 270? Basically, I want you, the co-blogger, to think of this as your site...you tell me.

For we shall chart the course of this blog cruise together.

Sincerely,
The Management

(It should be noted that extra credit will be awarded to those that say "We just tune in to read anything you have to say.")