Two of Betty and my best friends are Matt and Stephanie. They used to be in our Bible study class but then they sold out and got married. So they became some of our married friends. But I have noticed that hanging around with them may not be good for my ego.
Let's start at the beginning.
Shortly after Matt and Steph got married I got a call from Steph. She was in hysterics. She could not talk for laughing. It seems that they had been watching an episode of The Andy Griffith Show when it hit her that I was the re-embodiment of Andy Taylor. Something about the way I talk reminds her of the sex symbol sheriff. Lovely.
Some time later our friend Jill was in a car wreck and in the hospital in Louisville. So Steph, Matt, Betty, Banks, and I went to Louisville to see her. While we were there the nurse came in to help Jill up. She asked Matt and I to leave the room for a little bit. So we took Banks, who was less than a year old, and went out in the hall. Matt held Banks, I held the baby bag. About that time a lady rounds the corner and almost bumps into us. She sees Matt holding the baby and me holding the diaper bag. She proceeds to give us a look of absolute disgust and walks off down the hall mumbling about us. Lovely.
But the one that takes the cake happened this past Wednesday. Matt and I had gone to the hospital to see another friend. While we were there we started talking with a guy in the lobby. After a few minutes the guy says to me while pointing at Matt, "Is this your son?" At first I thought he was kidding so I just laughed. But again I hear, "Is he your son?" He was serious. He was asking if my friend Matt was my son. He was asking if my 30 year old friend was my son. I am 32. Matt is 30. I was born in 1973. Matt was born in 1976. "Is he your son?" 32. 30. Matt's dad is in his late 50's. I am 32. Matt's son is a year old. I am 32. "Is this your son?" Lovely.
Now, I can deal with the fact that I remind people of Andy Taylor. I can sort of deal with the fact that I remind some lady in Louisville of Elton John. But I cannot deal with the fact that I remind people more of Matlock than Andy Taylor. I am even getting calls from Matt's wife demanding child support payment for the time they have been married. Lovely.
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7 comments:
It sounds to me like you need to quit going to hospitals or your self esteem will just continue to be battered and bruised. Come to think of it you do look a little like Matlock, haha.
Michael
its alright grandpa..i mean dad
<3 jordan
wow it took two days for anyone to comment. Maybe you do need new friends.
Maybe you should just hang out more with those friends who show up at your house at 11:00 at night...as long as you don't mind sharing friends with your daughter. But wait...didn't you write about that before?!?
honey...you're out of metamucil. if you could pick some up at THE kroger tomorrow it would be very helpful. wednesday is your discount day, right?
I still haven't received my checks in the mail! Don't make me call the state!!!! I want that child support!
i have always thought that you and matt make a cute couple!
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