Timex Social Club

I like Tubby Smith. I think Lexington will miss Tubby Smith. But I gotta say, I think it should be state law that the University of Kentucky change basketball coaches every 5 to 10 years. That's right, I am in favor of basketball coach term limits.

This is not because I think the university or its basketball program will need a change that often. I think term limits are necessary because it is fun. I have absolutely enjoyed the past few days of Kentucky Basketball Excitement. We've needed it. So, in the tradition of rivals.com(catspause.com) and kentuckysportsradio.com I have decided to become a news outlet for the open coaching position at the University of Kentucky.

Here is what my "sources" tell me:
* Billy Donovan was spotted last night at HomeGoods picking out floral arrangements to go on the new entertainment center he purchased from Value City Furniture for the home he and his wife purchased in an historic downtown Lexington neighborhood.

* The entertainment center was said to be Kentucky Blue and would fit a 72" plasma television.

* The flowers were artificial replicas of Kentucky wildflowers and were thought to match perfectly with the carpet the Donovans purchased around the corner at The Flooring Gallery.

* Current Texas A&M coach Billy Gillispie was seen last night at the IHOP on New Circle Rd. He was having a tall order of Cini-stacks with a large OJ and bacon. Directly across the table from Gillispie was none other than Bill Keightley. The two were said to be discussing the layout of Gillispie's new office.

* Gonzaga coach Mark Few was seen last night in the New Balance store off Woodhill drive. Few was said to be purchasing a pair of trail running shoes and told the clerk that he would be running on the trails in Veterans Park since he had recently purchased a house in Hartland.

This is where the story gets even more unbelievable, literally:
* At approximately 8:30 pm the Donovans left HomeGoods and decided to have some pizza and fun and the nearby Chuck-E-Cheeze. Sources say the Donovans love air hockey.

* At approximately 8:34 pm IHOP patrons overheard Bill Keightley challenge Billy Gillespie to some DDR at a nearby arcade and pizza establishment. The two left, assumed to be going to said establishment.

* At approximately 8:37 pm Mark Few checked out of the New Balance store with a pair of New Balance 702 Trail Runners. He commented that he had amassed over 14,000 ski-ball tickets and was about to trade them in on a giant stuffed wildcat with giant plastic sunglasses and a blue sweater. He then left the store.

* At approximately 8:58 pm it is said that Donovan, Gillispie, and Few came face to face inside Chuck-E-Cheeze. Words were exchanged and before Keightley could intervene a fight broke out. No serious injuries were reported except for the robotic bass player in the band that lost its right arm. The three coaches were arrested and booked on charges of disorderly conduct and 2nd degree assault.

* At 12:14 am the three coaches were bailed out of jail by one Eddie Sutton. Coach Sutton said being at the LFUCG brought back fond/fuzzy memories of Lexington.

* Sources inside the University of Kentucky tell us that Nolan Barger will be named coach of the University of Kentucky Wildcats on Tuesday. Barger, the former coach of Tates Creek High School, has been working as a real estate appraiser.


Disclaimer: If you were born after 1979 or have a bad memory you should probably Google "Timex Social Club."