When our oldest son was about a year old we went to a get-together at some friends' house. There were a few couples there, all with children around a year old. After dinner we were talking with each other and as often happens the conversation hit a lull. Trying to break the silence I facetiously asked, "So, have yall started looking into preschools yet?" Hoping to get a small laugh, it was to my horror that I had sparked a serious conversation. It turned out that my wife and I were the only couple who had not toured preschools and were not currently trying to teach our child to drool in a fashion that Over Priced PreSchool Academy would be impressed by. I wrote it off as over-excitement on some new parents' parts.
Fast forward a few years later. It is now time to make some important decisions about this young'n's future. Now, I did not realize this, but it is possible to take a full grown adults current socio-economic position and determine the kindergarten they attended. Basically all this "get into a good college" mumbo jumbo is just that. Mumbo jumbo. The Ivy League ain't where it's at. True success is in the fat crayons and playdough. Where you learned to tie your shoes will ultimately determine what kind of shoes you can wear.
My wife has been looking into different Kindered options of intellectual stimulation for weeks now. She truly is looking for the right place for our son to go. So, when my mouth-breathing, ignorant self suggested "What difference does it make? It's Kindergarten." You would have thought I had just asked for some ketchup to put on my fillet mignon(I've gotten that look before).
We are not unique in our dilemma. This problem is industry-wide with parents of 4 year olds. I have even started to notice pack mentality within these mothers of 4 year olds. I hear icily whispered conversations with each other on the phone ending in things like, "If we don't choose wisely they may end up like...like...them," as I feel the scowl burning me.
But I gotta be honest, if I hear one more kindergarten teacher boast about the benefits of their non-Euclidean geometry curriculum I am gonna scream. Whatever happened to gold stars for not picking your nose for twenty minutes?
Well, I gotta go, it's 10:50 pm and I gotta get Junior brushed up on his interview skills.
While we are on the subject, does anyone know of a good AAU basketball team for my two year old?
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16 comments:
you suck
hey man..i haven't seen you since kindergarten! those were good times!
i haven't seen you in years! I was sleeping on a bench outside the liberry downtown and went inside to keep warm and found this on ther computer. things have been good for me. the shelter has been offering soup and i found me a new pair of shues in the trash by the YMCA! i hope you are ok i remember how you were the last one to write yer name but i know you tryed reel hard!
i see your point...we are no longer going to offer the curriculum we currently do. I think we should give the kids jumbo crayons and playdoh and that should be enough. what a thought provoking essay!
your mom decided where you went to kindergarten. now you can see the obvious reasons why it was HER and not your dad.
Judge for yourself how much Kindergarten matters. My siblings and I attended Broadway Baptist. I mow yards for a living, my sister married you, and my brother is on the radio.
we are definitely NOT sending him to Broadway Baptist
our baby will NEVER earn any gold stars.
Proof that my mother's obsession with choosing the proper kindergarten has made all the difference:
1. We were vaccinated for the stomach bacterium linked to obesity.
2. I adjusted well to the fact that Pluto is potentially not a planet.
3. Sr. Rita, my kindergarten teacher, taught me that is isn't proper to discuss Uranus, it is a bit far from the sun.
4. I know it is not cool to jump from a large rock into the water below while holding my nose. And should I feel the need to hold my nose I would never permit a photograph be taken.
5. I can footnote.
You must realize that choosing the proper kindergarten is a breeze compared to choosing the proper outfit for the young'n on the first day of kindergarten. We goin' shoppin'! We goin' shoppin'!
I in no way meant to offend the "fairer" gender. In fact, I was trying to give props to them for insisting on researching and testing and investigating and interviewing and polling before selecting an institution of lower education. I did not mean to imply that you were making mountains of molehills, or over-analyzing, or over-complicating, or over-thinking.
My only requirement is that the school we choose must serve hard oatmeal cookies with weak grape kool-aid.
And Closet-Blogger, I am glad you commented!
perhaps if only we had given this level of consideration to our future spouses we wouldn't be in this predicament!
In regards to AAU -- give it a few years, then try Tates Creek's AAU, they are pretty solid.
And as for pre-school. > Just wait an extra year to start 'em. I started school late, which meant: I was older than other peeps, bigger, more confident, could drive before peers, etc. Just a thought.
write something new or else
go to the doctor
i beat u
you suck
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