"Stomach Bacteria Tied to Obesity" -- studies say one type seems to help perpetuate weight gain.
This is the lead headline on the front page of the Lexington Herald-Leader today.
Now, I am not one to usually play the victim role but it is quite obvious to me that I have fallen victim to this horrible bacterium over the past few years.
I have even narrowed it down to the places that I think I may have contracted this bug. I am fairly certain it came from one of the following: McDonalds, Wendy's, Burger King, Little Caesers, Graeters Ice Cream, Moe's, Chick-Fil-A, and/or the lunch counter at Wheeler Pharmacy. Being that I eat at one or more of these places multiple times a day I am fairly certain I have been exposed.
This exposure can be confirmed when you look at a few interesting facts:
1) Weight - 232 lbs. This is a personal best.
2) Chest - 44 inches
Stomach - 44 inches
Waist - 43 inches
3) Chins - 2
4) Resting Heart Rate - 90
Now, the question is, "What can I do about this infection?" In our lawsuit happy culture I think I would have a case to sue for about a bizillion dollars. But again, I am not one to play the victim role. So, I plan to take the Kirstie Alley approach. Recently she vowed to go on Oprah in a bikini and she used that as incentive to lose weight. Granted, I am not just trying to lose weight I am fighting a deadly biological infection but I think this may work...with your help.
After recovering from this infection I hope to weigh less than 200 lbs. I plan on weighing 216 or less by the end of June and 200 or less by the end of 2007. I hearby vow to post a picture of me sans shirt if either of the two milestones are not met.
Now, I realize this is something none of you want to see(ask Betty). So the responsibility is yours. If you see me doing things such as taking elevators, parking close at Golden Corral, or eating food you have the right, no, you have the duty to call me out on it. Help me fight this bacteria.
Jordan thinks I should post "before" pictures because she wouldn't be at all embarrassed. But I just don't think that is necessary--just picture an unfortunately named bad guy in the last two Austin Powers movies.
I will update you periodically on my progress on my blob...I mean blog.
7 comments:
I'm so sorry that you've fallen prey to this devastating infection. Fortunately, I've done quite a bit of research and it seems there is only one cure....diet and exercise. Oh and staying away from places that may be contaminated with the bacteria...I think you named most of them in your post. I will definitely support you in your recovery process. :-)
father! i will shoot you if there are any pictures....ever...
---please ppl i think he is serious about the pictures so for my sake, make him healthy!
no...for my sake...HELP HIM...
Well, I have started off well. My meals since this post...McDonalds for lunch, Chick-Fil-A for dinner, McDonalds for breakfast, McDonalds for lunch.
Just call me Slim Goodbody.
in your after pictures we need to get you a spray tan and highlights and your teeth whitened.
i think you gave me your bacteria...
let's hope those bacteria don't decide to celebrate because it is a NEW YEAR'S celebration...
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