See Dog Run

Dave Blake has created a monster. Okay, he didn't create it, but through his blog he has definitely introduced me to one. This website that tells you the reading level of your blog absolutely amazes me. Not to brag but as you are reading this you are reading at the collegiate undergrad level. Simply stated reading this blog is like reading a Calculus book...wow, there is some fun reading.

That said, I have spent the last couple of days truly pondering the reading level of my blog. A prideful part of me wants to amp it up...to drop some diction if you will. Dave stated that a couple of the blogs he tested on the site came back as collegiate post-grad reading levels...show offs. I ran another friend of mine's blog and his came back at a genius reading level...I don't understand this because his posts have never made any sense to me.

Another part of me wants to "keep the cookies on the bottom shelf" if you will. I want people to feel comfortable when they read this blog. Thinking back to my collegiate reading days does not relax me...getting letters suggesting that I think of other possible majors other than Engineering, or other letters suggesting possibly trying a different college all together, or Failing "Statics" only to retake it and barely get a "D"...these are not what I want people to be reminded of when they read this college level reading blog.

But, I also have no reservations about admitting that I am definitely the dullest crayon in the tool shed. The folks that read this blog are intellectual and I don't want to insult them by writing below their level. What to do...What to do...

Well, anyway, here's my newest post:

Betty set up our Christmas tree. After much consternation and deliberation she ultimately decided to install a tree of a brummagem and humanly produced nature. The tree is pretty. She has compiled various accessories which are decorative and sentimental to furbelow and bedizen our ersatz pinus strobus. She hung them on the tree. The adornments include vestiges such as "Elvis Pressley clad in splendiferous accouterments commonly associated with the mid 1970's" and "Yoda donned in a millenery similar to that attributed to Saint Nicholas." Yoda is funny. Our canine finds consuming said baubles quite piquant and this acerbates my helpmeet to the point of near assassination. See dog run.

Read your own level.

Jive Turkey of the Week Award

So the ol'lady had a hen party tonight (my lovely wife had some friends over for the evening). To help make that possible I took the boys out for a while. We decided to go to the mall...see their sister, get some grub, and hit the play area. While there I realized who should receive the First Annual Jive Turkey of the Week award. It's the folks that constantly harass you as you walk from Dip'nDots to Auntie Anne's to Chick-fil-A to Great American Cookie Company to Williams Sonoma for free samples to Tropical Smoothie to Godiva for free samples to Sonic back to Williams Sonoma for more free samples and finally to GNC for some whey protein(gotta keep my swole on). The workers at the kiosks won't let you pass without trying to get you to stop and hear their pitch. This is not a problem for some. They can blow them off without any problem. It's not so easy for me. For whatever reason I feel the need to listen to half their pitch before I finally say "no thank you" and move on.

Well, tonight I had finally had enough. As I was walking past Williams Sonoma (trying to look left-handed this time so they wouldn't think I had gotten samples before) a dude grabs me by the arm and asks me if I would like a Mallssage. I had had it. I spun around quickly, looked the guy straight in the eye and said "Step off me you Jive Turkey!" It was wonderful...three people around me actually applauded. The manager of Williams Sonoma gave me a double sample of peppermint bark, and the dude at the Dell kiosk(they leave you alone, almost to a fault) just looked at me and tearfully whispered "Thank you." Even the guy who had offered the Mallssage apologized and told me he was going to look for a different job. Secretly I felt as if I may have overreacted, but the reaction of those around encouraged me to think differently. I had to do it. That gave me the idea for this award.

So here's to you Mr. and Ms. Overly Pushy Kiosk at the Mall Worker. You are the First Annual Jive Turkey of Week.

Far From Home

I've never blogged from a foreign country before. This is pretty cool. The people speak English but it seems to be local custom to dress in a funky orange color. They also like to sing some strange song about rocks on a mountian or something. Strange, yet entertaining.

Well, I must sign out.
World Traveller
Nathan Cornett
From MTSU Library
Murfreesboro, TN