I survived. I managed to finish the Lame Duck Try-Athlon and continue to breathe. But man was it hard. Here is what the Duck taught me.
1. I'm old, I'm fat, I'm slow.
a. I am older physically than a 72 year old man. I was beaten by nearly half an hour by a man that is seventy-freak'n-two!
b. I'm fat. I was maybe one of ten folks there with a percent body fat over 5.
c. I'm slow. Coming out of the swim I was ahead of only seven people. I thought I would make up time on the bike and run. I finished ahead of seven people.
2. I'm really slow. I finished in the bottom ten. I was beaten by a 72 year old, a 62 year old and a 14 year old girl. Seriously.
3. There is a lot of gravity in Georgetown. The hills in Mallard Point are unbelievable. Lance Armstrong could have trained for the Tour De Snooty Country there. There is no shame in walking a bike up a hill. Shut up Woodyard, there is no shame in walking a bike up a hill.
4. The residents of Mallard Point are very nice to the participants. They would have coolers of water out in there front yard and run along side of you to hand it to you. Some had hoses hooked up to spray you if you wanted. They all cheered you on. But, to be honest, the cheering started to get on my nerves. I was so slow and back in the pack that their cheers seemed almost condescending. There "you can do it's" took into an "isn't that special, that fat man is trying" type of feel. I wanted somebody to say, "Dude, your stink'n it up, speed up."
5. Oxygen is good. I went an hour and fifty four minutes with a serious oxygen debt.
6. I look good in yellow speedos. I went with the taxi cab yellow dry fit model. It's more stringy on the sides for aerodynamics. Think Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue but with part of the front hidden by a gut. Okay, so I didn't wear a speedo, actually I had the longest shorts in the race I think.
7. The truly hard core athletes are the ones whose bikes have kickstands and baby seat racks. Just like me.
8. My next tri-athlon is September 24. I encourage all to participate.
If you are into verification of statistics you can go to http://lameduck.freeservers.com/
and click on race results.
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10 comments:
Wow, really all I can say is WOW!
I'm just really proud you finished! You're much too hard on yourself. You finished and you were able to walk on Sunday. That's a whole lot better than I could have done! Woo-hoo go Nate.
you forgot the part where you made me go to the post office saturday morning and mail a life insurance payment PRIORITY MAIL/DELIVERY CONFIRMATION in case the duck won. i'd like to thank you for that added stress...i make sure you have coverage while i am the one with chest pains waiting to see if you are still alive!
I tried to tell you that Big Daddy had a speedo or two that you could choose from...remember that for your next moment of insanity...I mean race!
Won't you be an even older man by the time of your next try-athlon? I'm thinking you have a Sept. b-day. We'll bring out the wheelchair for this one.
Do Ya Miss Me??????!!!!!!
This blog is dead
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time to blog on the benefits of controlled substances.
another post?
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