Show and Tell or Show and Fail?

When our oldest son was about a year old we went to a get-together at some friends' house. There were a few couples there, all with children around a year old. After dinner we were talking with each other and as often happens the conversation hit a lull. Trying to break the silence I facetiously asked, "So, have yall started looking into preschools yet?" Hoping to get a small laugh, it was to my horror that I had sparked a serious conversation. It turned out that my wife and I were the only couple who had not toured preschools and were not currently trying to teach our child to drool in a fashion that Over Priced PreSchool Academy would be impressed by. I wrote it off as over-excitement on some new parents' parts.

Fast forward a few years later. It is now time to make some important decisions about this young'n's future. Now, I did not realize this, but it is possible to take a full grown adults current socio-economic position and determine the kindergarten they attended. Basically all this "get into a good college" mumbo jumbo is just that. Mumbo jumbo. The Ivy League ain't where it's at. True success is in the fat crayons and playdough. Where you learned to tie your shoes will ultimately determine what kind of shoes you can wear.

My wife has been looking into different Kindered options of intellectual stimulation for weeks now. She truly is looking for the right place for our son to go. So, when my mouth-breathing, ignorant self suggested "What difference does it make? It's Kindergarten." You would have thought I had just asked for some ketchup to put on my fillet mignon(I've gotten that look before).

We are not unique in our dilemma. This problem is industry-wide with parents of 4 year olds. I have even started to notice pack mentality within these mothers of 4 year olds. I hear icily whispered conversations with each other on the phone ending in things like, "If we don't choose wisely they may end up like...like...them," as I feel the scowl burning me.

But I gotta be honest, if I hear one more kindergarten teacher boast about the benefits of their non-Euclidean geometry curriculum I am gonna scream. Whatever happened to gold stars for not picking your nose for twenty minutes?

Well, I gotta go, it's 10:50 pm and I gotta get Junior brushed up on his interview skills.

While we are on the subject, does anyone know of a good AAU basketball team for my two year old?