Jive Turkey of the Week Award

So the ol'lady had a hen party tonight (my lovely wife had some friends over for the evening). To help make that possible I took the boys out for a while. We decided to go to the mall...see their sister, get some grub, and hit the play area. While there I realized who should receive the First Annual Jive Turkey of the Week award. It's the folks that constantly harass you as you walk from Dip'nDots to Auntie Anne's to Chick-fil-A to Great American Cookie Company to Williams Sonoma for free samples to Tropical Smoothie to Godiva for free samples to Sonic back to Williams Sonoma for more free samples and finally to GNC for some whey protein(gotta keep my swole on). The workers at the kiosks won't let you pass without trying to get you to stop and hear their pitch. This is not a problem for some. They can blow them off without any problem. It's not so easy for me. For whatever reason I feel the need to listen to half their pitch before I finally say "no thank you" and move on.

Well, tonight I had finally had enough. As I was walking past Williams Sonoma (trying to look left-handed this time so they wouldn't think I had gotten samples before) a dude grabs me by the arm and asks me if I would like a Mallssage. I had had it. I spun around quickly, looked the guy straight in the eye and said "Step off me you Jive Turkey!" It was wonderful...three people around me actually applauded. The manager of Williams Sonoma gave me a double sample of peppermint bark, and the dude at the Dell kiosk(they leave you alone, almost to a fault) just looked at me and tearfully whispered "Thank you." Even the guy who had offered the Mallssage apologized and told me he was going to look for a different job. Secretly I felt as if I may have overreacted, but the reaction of those around encouraged me to think differently. I had to do it. That gave me the idea for this award.

So here's to you Mr. and Ms. Overly Pushy Kiosk at the Mall Worker. You are the First Annual Jive Turkey of Week.